About me(Why am I here?)

To be less socially awkward or to be more confident.

Hi Guys! So this is my first interaction with all of you ,feeling a bit nervous while writing my first post. I am Aiza Rashid, who is a college student , a biology student and will move to university soon. So I am here to tell all of you about myself.

Who am I ?

I am basically an introvert, who never likes or enjoy social attention or to be the center of attention. I have been seeing the dream of becoming a writer since my childhood. But, I am not here to become a writer, but to be less socially awkward, to be more lively and expressive. I want to express my feelings and about myself, to make the voice of my soul heard. I have never liked too much friends around me, but we want someone around us to be less socially awkward, to be not considered a psychopath. That’s the only reason that introverts make friends but they are not good at that. The Fear of social acceptance make them to make friends. It’s not bad to make friends but the fact is that people are much materialistic and showy out there ,they pretend to be happy, while at heart they are not. I am tired of that duplicacy. Teenagers , mostly consider that making friends ,chatting with them online ,this all is friendship. But the one like me are not that much interested in chatting online .I have communication gaps even if I have friends, and my so called friends then find an alternative for me ,especially in holidays, they find that alternative more interesting as he can make some witty jokes, play some pranks and is always found laughing. I mean ,I am not that dumb socially. I have my parent and siblings ,with whom I bond wellg We live together, we are often found physically fighting with each other(I do not mean to hit on each other heads with an iron rod), pulling each other legs, and then laughing. I have found physical fight to be sign of love, to feel somebody’s presence, it feels so good. Morever, I have cousins who live abroad and we don’t chat much online but I am often found thinking about them and our good memories .I just think that in relationships, communication gaps don’t matter as long as you love and care about each other. It’s such a sacred feeling .But I have never been good at friendships. I was having friends in school and in college too, and we sometimes, chat online .But even then I know that I am not good at it. I am thinking that I just went too deep.

Why this? Why now?

As I told you, I am a bio student ,I picked it as a subject on advice of my father, he wants me to be a doctor, but my interests have now changed and I am thinking of changing my field. I am interested in programming ,web development, ML and AI. I took some courses from Udemy during my free time and now I want to learn more about ML and AI.I am currently doing that, but I just thought of sharing my knowledge and journey with others and learn with them .Telling others about mistakes I made and the lessons I learned. So ,if anyone has the same interests as me, I would be happy to learn with them and grow together. My mother language(which I learned first) is Python , So mostly I am practicing with it. But I also have some knowledge about JS, HTML, CSS, Bootstrap, jquery ,and I am looking forward to improve my knowledge with you people.

Why am I here?

I am here to be less socially awkward and to add some more experiences to my life, as interacting with humans is an experience worth it. I want to feel all the colors and tastes of life and that’s I am here. I really like some lines by Sylvia Plath as she wrote:

“I want to live and feel all the shades , tones and variations of mental and physical experience in my life.”

So I am also wishing to do the same.

Last Lines:

So that’s it. It is not all about me, but I look forward to sharing more with you all. I want to say all that’s in my heart and mind, So stay with me for that.

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